Saturday, November 19, 2016

Che Culo!  
So last night I didn't get any sleep because I am very sensitive to the aftershocks from the earthquakes in Norcia, and I could feel the light tremors going on all night. Then today I was hoping that baby donations were going to be brought right to my door, but just as the weather report was threatening massive thunderstorms (although they still haven't arrived) I got a message from two different women who I have never met before telling me to come meet them at two different locations at the same time. A flurry of whatsapp and FB messages ensued of apologizies, thanks, and further specifics on location. First I found my friend Monica's friend who gave me a large bag of lovely girl clothes for Peace and then I ran to meet this other woman from the expat group who is moving to Belgium. I had spent the whole afternoon practicing Italian for the first lady, but I was in such a rush that I recall sort of wildly taking stuff from her and giving her a weird thumbs up gesture as I backed away from her towards the second location. My wingman Courtney who had seen the post for the donation on the expat group was sending me encouraging texts in the middle that said Run K Run. The bag was slowing me down so I literally threw it into a macelleria/butcher shop and asked them to hold onto it for three minutes. 

I finally got to the second location and met two women who look like super models, despite the fact that I imagine one of them had given birth in the last year or so. They kindly offered to help me walk the bag of baby clothes back to my house since it was bigger than me. They looked confused when I came back out of the butcher shop with a second bag of clothes. The super model friend was Italian, but spoke perfect, although accented English. For some reason, I could not change gears and I vaguely heard myself sounding more like her than like me. That happens when I have to go back and forth between English and Italian sometimes, but it is always embarrassing. I have worked really hard to get to know myself and my real voice and so this bilingual thing is a bit of a setback on occasion. Not as embarrassing as when I got flustered to find the postino/post man downstairs waiting for me with some birthday presents for T's 17th birthday on Monday. I wanted to say something like What a stroke of luck! but I had been watching a lot of Pechino Express so I came out with Che culo! which is not super refined Italian since it literally means What ass! The delivery guy looked at me, shrugged, and said in polite Italian, I guess on you it is kind of cute that you say that. I managed to block the supermodel carrying the enormous bag for me while I forged F's signature (why?) and then only let her in after typing and signing on the tiny automatic signature device thingamajig.

donation city

In other good news, Tina's sister got the money, paid off the hospital in Nigeria, got her father transferred to a different hospital where I believe today he will have an important operation. I hope he makes it!

Also, I am seriously thinking about shaving my head and having a silver buzz cut. I know it will be perceived as a Britney moment, but I feel like if you get to that point, you can't really be bothered to care what people think. 

And now that T has joined the youth parliament thing, the tutoring thing, the erasmus thing, the newspaper thing, and some other things that also count as extracurricular goodness on her college applications I believe I may see her again for five minutes when she is 18 or so. She is scheduled to the max and she hasn't even begun the whole SAT thing. Sometimes when I say, can I ask you a question, she earnestly tells me that I have 19 seconds. Also she objects to every single thing I do say, which is impressive because I only say things that last 19 seconds or less. 

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