Sunday, May 01, 2016

Relapse, Sheet happens, and Wisdom Arrives!           
I thought I was better and then boom! I was sicker than before. I was so sick that it was actually worse than childbirth. And that is saying a lot, trust me.
Attention Mom and the Ukranian pornographers that follow this blog: I Am Now Fine.
When I was incapacitated these things happened:
Tina had to go do the dogsitting job. She did a great job, but when I was voiceless and F went to explain to her the fine art of poop picking up, there were some communication issues. First of all, he used the word poop. After the whole explanation, he checked that she had understood (thank goodness!) and she asked, "But what about the shit?" And that is when we understod that poop is not a word used by Nigerians. We overstood that.
   
Tina & Nash
I called to make sure the dog had its morning walk and found out that Tina had been walking around for an hour and a half. "Oh honey, you can stop now." We got it down to twenty minutes.
The same thing happened when we had to call to let her know that Nic, the dog Daddy, had hurt himself racing and was coming home early. I told her she could strip her sheets from the bed. Tina was horrified. But the dog never sheet on the bed, she said, I took him for a long walk!
Somewhere in the midst of this Cool called. Jennifer Lawrence's water had broken and she was bleeding. I understood that an ambulance was coming, but I think they drove around in a friend's car and got turned away from one or two hospitals before they landed. The baby came quickly, I think. His name is Wisdom! And mamma and baby are happy and healthy. T is convinced that with family names this awesome he will grow up to be a super rich and famous star. His rap name, she decided, will be Wiz. Lil' Wiz, if he stays on the small side.  
           
F ran out to get a car seat from Caritas Pescia today so we can take everyone home from the hospital tomorrow. 
       
Get ready world . . it's Wisdom!
Coolest Family Ever!
It turns out that Jennifer can't get her permesso, if we don't find Cool a job. You know things are bad when I am writing snarky emails in Italian to the lawyers, saying sheet like, Even Harry Potter could not get a certificato di idoneità and proof of earning potential in less than a month for this family. For the love of everything good, I am doing my best, people. My main point was to ask how exemptions for immigrants work, but as usual, the lawyers ignored my query and responded to my over-the-top tone (I know, I know, but it's too late to change me now). They said that we are all trying our best to integrate this group of immigrants into Italian society, but we have to respect the law. Well, I don't respect these laws, but then again neither does any one else in this country who isn't getting paid to enforce them, so . . . hypocrisy, anyone???
 
If I do get a job corps together, we're going to call it IMMIGRANTS, We Get It Done alla Hamilton.
Anna Morelli, the food connoisseur, told us to insist with the chef because he does have work. I called lo chef today and said, "GOOD MORNING" in my best "Good Morning, Vietnam!" kind of kooky, cheery, I'm American and I'm not going to hurt you (yet) voice. He said he could see me on Wednesday, but now he is saying the work is only occasional catering work and not contract work, which is disappointing. I hope that once he sees what hard workers Paul and Cool are, he will change his mind. 
In other news, our friend Gabriella got F some great website design work on some new businesses, including a luxury hotel in centro storico. 
T had classmates over and worked tirelessly to do not just her part, but the parts of the three other girls on her English presentation about Gothic Cathedrals. WE ALL HATE GOTHIC CATHEDRALS NOW. Please don't mention them to us ever again.

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