Tuesday, May 05, 2015

THE SECRET HOUSE
As you know, we really have to move now that the courtyard outside our home has become a mosh pit for tourists who have terrible taste in food and music. Here's the latest:

Just hours after having our real estate agent agree to enter into negotiations with the gentleman who owns the completely pristine and brand spanking new, silent and bright, but very small apartment that I had my heart set on which comes with a garage space and two balconies, my friend Gabriella pulled a Hail Mary in the world of Tuscan real estate.

Gabriella signed up to be the delegate for an absentee landlord in Rome who happens to have the craziest most f-@#ked-up apartment of all time. She and her family used to live there about eight years ago. It needs A LOT of work. It has cracks in the ceilings, the windows are jacked up, the water tank and heating system probably needs to be replaced. You have to walk up about one thousand steps to get to it, but even though it is on the most important and crowded shopping street, the apartment faces an internal courtyard with a spectacular rooftop view and it is virtually silent.

Unfortunately/Purtroppo, the apartment itself is the most beautiful, wonderful, place in the world. This makes life complicated. It is ENORMOUS at almost 150 meters squared, which is 60 more meters than what we have now. It has more than one living room, a giant kitchen, and a formal dining room, two bathrooms, and two giant bedrooms, and a laundry room. It is full of light and it is solid in the way only apartments that are hundreds of years old can be. We have no idea what to do.

Gabriella and Antonio suggested that we made a deal with the landlord of the crazy place whereby we don't have to pay rent for as long as it takes to get everything repaired and the money for repairs does not surpass what the rent would be. The rent would be less than we currently pay for our already sizeable place. We might get away with getting a palatial apartment for 700 a month with an eight year lease. In this way the money we have to pay to get our of our current lease which equals three months of advance payment would be absorbed by the free rent period of the new place. Kind of. 

This quiet one is across from a lovely church just steps from the city walls. The owner wanted over a thousand euros a month but the agent is trying to get him down to eight hundred plus, not including some kind of share utility condominium fee.

The shiny expensive place:
Totally new construction with an elevator and a double car garage.

The bad furniture can be removed . .
Tiny kitchen. :(

But it is so clean. T doesn't care. She doesn't like it.

F for fotografo.




The couch would disappear, but it is still basically a small living room and dining room combined. I don't know how we would keep the mosquitoes out of the giant balcony doors. F said something about weighted overlapping screened curtains.

The second master bedroom.


 Now take a look at the crazy, enormous, and cheap place that, if it were repaired, would be awesome:





A second dining area apart from the eat-in kitchen.




The bedroom is giagantic. Imagine it with just one Queen sized bed.


our friend Gabriella



They think we might be able to pull off the craziest move of the century. Yes, that is a fireplace.



and a skylight
Now that's a kitchen.
Dining area

One of the two bathrooms. One has a tub, the other a shower.
Entrance way
our friend Antonio

We are thinking about calling on my VERY MUCH crew (see old post) of ex-students many of whom are still unemployed and are in the building industry to come and pitch in.  This morning the student who I volunteered to help find a job and who happens to be an unemployed housing engineer is coming to make an assessment. We need to know if the cracks are just cracks or if they mean we are about to wear the ceiling as a hat. I have a wall guy, an electrician, and a geometra among my unemployed student pool and I would like nothing more to put them to work.

The home exchange people and my current landlord are completely in the dark.

F went to meet with the immigration consultant while I was teaching yesterday and he advised us not to renew our stay permits until the end of the summer when we will have a real address among other things. He enrolled both of us to take the Italian language exam which is required and for which you need a medical excuse letter or an airplane ticket to get out of once they electronically and automatically generate a test date for us sometime in the next five weeks. Welcome to Italy.

I can't breathe.

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