Saturday, March 21, 2015

Anche la torta ha torto/Even my cake is wrong 
I am battling a level of inflamation that is so uncomfortable that I didn't even want to write about it. I got some kind of virus from my little snurfly students who wipe their noses on my writing materials. One of the more unpleasant side effects of this virus is a sore on my tongue that caused it to swell on one side and get little cuts all over it. I also have the nausea from the excess of vitamin E that I took in my skin clearing supplements. Couple this with when I have little hormonal surges over the course of the month and the delicate area under my eyes breaks out into little purple hills in addition to the acne cysts. My lower abdomen got swollen as well, so I can't be anymore uncomfortable physically than I am right now. I also look amazing.

Given all that, I decided to throw a dinner party. Well, I decided to throw a party in a fit of optimism a month ago because I haven't seen my friend Francesca for several months and it is her birthday. Plus she and her husband Fabio moved out of their tiny little mini house into a giant new house and Fabio finally got a new job. He really hated his old job.

Now, if you remember, I committed a major Italenglish screw up at Thanksgiving time when my friend Patrizia asked me to invite Francesca and Fabio to her party, but since she didn't remember their names, I assumed she was talking about our friends Monica and Luca. I mean they are both "lovely couples." Anyone could get confused. It was when I was reading my own blog that I realized that all the photos from that night were of Patrizia with Francesca and Fabio! No wonder that Monica and Luca were so confused by the invitation and had no idea who Patrizia was. Some how all of them and Patrizia's kids and T's friends are coming over tonight for dinner. Awesome.

In any event, last week I found a great idea for a cake.

Here it is:

Under the directions, it says level of difficulty: somewhat. See:

 Um, I'm calling BULLSHIT! on that right now.

So we made a practice version for my student Silvia's birthday. It came out pretty well so I thought we could try to go a little more deluxe for the housewarming-birthday-newjob cake.

This is Silvia's why is my English teacher so weird?? face. Nobody knows, honey. Nobody knows.
So we made this:

 I told F that I thought one of the supporting walls was caving in. He said, in all his famous optimism, that the house was just "settling." Thank goodness this was not a real house for obvious reasons.

And then it collapsed! It was at dinner and I screamed with horror. T, god bless her, managed to say in full adolescent splendor I told you so.
And I did this:
And now we are repairing it and our marriage. I also have to teach all afternoon. I have Vick's Vapor Rub all over my face. I am watching Amici and the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I am in pajamas. My tongue is still quite grotesque. Don't you wish you moved to Tuscany?

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