Friday, August 01, 2014


Catch us if you can
When the home exchange lady told us that there had been mice in her apartment and that we had to seal up all our food in tupperware it made me a little anxious, but not  as anxious as her (son's?) drawing of a giant rat on the kitchen wall wearing a trench coat which is taped to the wall of the kitchen. T swears it's supposed to be a dog, but, trust me, it's a rat. I may be paranoid, but I'm fairly certain that there is an international plot in action to try to get me to never sleep again.

Um great. I love mice.
Here is F, otherwise known as Captain Awesome, posing with the giant rat.
Here is T beating the pants off her uncle and grandma as she wins five straight rounds of bananagrams.

This is my first and dearest "mommy" friend Sherry. Her son James was T's best friend growing up.
Here are James and T then.
. . . And now!

Here is a hillarious shot of us with our dear friends Maria Grazia and Laura. The lady we asked to take the picture had a hard time making allowances for the height difference!
Then we dropped off T at her friend Savana's house in Park Slope for a sleepover and we got stuck in traffic. The police had closed down the Brooklyn Bridge. We were an hour late getting back to my mother's house to pick her and my stepfather up and go to Queens to visit my grandmother and her caretaker Wendy. It was very anxiety producing.

T & Savana
My grandmother, god bless her soul, was napping when we finally got there. She knew we were related to her somehow. I think she even suspected I was her granddaughter, but what she had really been hoping was that I was eleven years old and had come to have a sleepover at her house like I used to do every Saturday. She kept telling me how much I had grown and what a beautiful surprise it was to see me. She is a sly dog and her way of covering up her total memory loss was to compliment everyone and try to throw the wool over our eyes. She kept saying things like, "Well, you - YOU are really stunning. What a looker you are, you gorgeous creature you." She found F to be particularly stunning. She told my stepfather, "Well, you are a wonderful man, whoever you are. I just love you." Then she got cross with my mom because she assumed that my eleven year old self was getting bamboozled into having a sleepover at her house instead. "Are you sure you don't want to sleep here?" She asked me. "I think I need to sleep in my own bed," I had to reply.

The caretaker Wendy who is Caribbean never sleeps because my grandmother only naps in short spurts and spends the whole night trying to stand in front of the refrigerator eating all the meals that Wendy has prepared for the whole week. We brought her a big box of assorted cookies and we brought them both sparkly costume jewelery necklaces for my grandma's 97th birthday next week. Wendy was starved for human contact and didn't want us to leave. Her eyes were imploring us not to go. There are no words to describe the respect and adoration I have for the love she shows my grandmother. She is an angel on earth, and if I was rich I would buy her a ton of sparkly shit and a car and a house with a pool. I am just going to speak the truth here and say that the first thing I thought when I saw her is that she looks exactly like Uzo Aduba who portrays the character 'Crazy Eyes' on the tv series Orange is the New Black; and, as far as the crazy factor goes, it didn't help matters that she keeps my grandmother's apartment a tropical 97 degrees with 97 percent humidity.



My little grandmother wanted to see the necklace we gave her in the mirror. She grabbed my hand and we went in search of a mirror low enough for her to get a glimpse of herself in. The first time she saw her reflection, she was disgusted and looked like she was going to cry. My grandma always spent ages on her hair and makeup and picking just the right, color coordinated outfit and now she is kind of pot bellied and her hair is standing on end and she doesn't look like herself anymore. The second time we went to the mirror, she thanked me for the necklace all over again as if she had never seen it before in her life. This happened about four times. Then she got distracted by things that have always been in her house in the same exact spots and kept asking me, "How in the world did that get there? Who put that there? I guess Wendy put it there and forgot about it." It was about the saddest thing in the whole world.

1 comment:

Marcia Sherman said...

Awww! It's nice that you consider your grandmother's caretaker as a part of your family. That is what caretakers should be, a part of anyone's family because they always have lending a hand you can reach. Thank you for sharing that! All the best!

Marcia Sherman @ Comfort Keepers