Monday, June 02, 2014

What a system!
Do not fear I have attained the information and permission from T to share these top secret goings on with you, our reading public.

The way the report cards work:

 After the second semester that lasts from January  to the end of the first week of  June, the professors total up each student's grades for each subject. The grades are on a scale from one to ten. Some of the grades are for written quizzes and some are the result of oral interrogations. For example, if one student has received these marks: 6, 4 , 8 and 7 -- the professor would total those grades and arrive at the conclusion that they add up to 25. Unless it was the math professor, because he is the one who had trouble with addition. He really does. They would then divide that number by 4 which is the number of tests they gave and say that the student has an average grade of roughly 6 and a quarter. If, in a different subject, the student has a 5.75 and shows improvement towards the end of the semester, the professor can decide to count the .25 from one subject towards the other subject in order to boost his or her total. It is like Hunger Games or Divergent in the way that if you get below the red line, which is the grade level 6, you are considered to be at an insufficent level and they then set forth to eliminate you.
One fine day after classes have ended, all of the professors get together and they go around in  a circle sharing your grades and then try to pass you or fail you depending how much they like you. If you have a subject under 6, they suspend your grades and you have to take an exam in September in order to be readmitted to your class. If you have three or more subjects under, they can flunk you right there. If you are anxious just reading this and you don't even go to a high school in Italy, raise your hand.

This will give you an idea of how absurd things can get. T did not get a perfect grade on her English quiz as expected the other day. I did say English, you have heard me correctly. Why a native speaker even has to even take English class is a mystery except that it increases her popularity and importance to the class as a whole since the majority of kids would never pass English if it weren't for her assistance. This is partially due to the fact that the professor, a real sweetheart, is just a tad crazier than the rest of us.

The quiz in question was on the future tense. The professor gave them the first half of the sentence and they had to complete it. Most of the sentences had to do with what you will do during the day. For example, "When I get up in the morning, I will . . . (T wrote: get dressed.) Excellent. When I finish breakfast, I will .  . .  and so on.

The next sentence began When I leave school, I will . . . and T wrote do my home work. The professor took off a point explaining to T that the sentence was asking what she would do after graduating school. What??!!

During the test a boy asked T for help with the verb tense and T obliged, although she didn't know for what the exact sentence was. After getting back the quiz, the boy went up to T and said that the professor had marked the sentence wrong. He had a feeling she would, but he still wanted to know whether then sentence was grammatically correct.  It seems that the smart alec had written: After school I will go smoke weed with my mom. The professor maintained that the sentence was nonsensical: How would you smoke seeds? Weed means semi and semi are seeds and it's not even possible to smoke seeds, she said. 

T said it was even funnier because that kid's mom is the last person in the world who would ever go and smoke anything with anyone.

No comments: