Saturday, May 10, 2014

INVASION
This has been a trying week. They did some construction on the building next door. It was noisy. One day I opened my door and I thought I saw a black blob shuffle into the house. I assumed it was mascara that was blocking my peripheral vision. I'm always scaring myself for no reason. But this time it was a black beatle.
 
 
I was crying and screaming, but not in a 'cute English boys have arrived' kind of a way.
 I was on the way out of my house to catch a  movie with a friend at the time that I saw the intruder, but F assured me that he would get rid of it. He did. I told him that in Lucca there is never just one of something. Remember when we had fleas? What could he say? He just shrugged. Over the next week more and more of those shuffling, hard-coated, guys appeared in the stairway. We put our Sherlock hats on and figured out that they were coming from holes in the stairway. F filled up the holes with cement. Well, he filled up most of them and then we got more beatles and then he found the rest of the holes and also got rubber extensions to put on the doors to seal up the gap between the door and the floor. Nevertheless, a few days after my panic died down, I was working out and I saw another black blob on its back. I told myself it was a fuzz ball, but then jumped six feet into the air when I saw that it had legs.
 
 I have this weird post traumatic stress reaction to the beatles because of the time many years ago in New York when I broke up with my horrible ex and had to abandon my rental in a brownstone near Central Park to go live in a dump of an apartment in Chelsea that turned out to be infested with waterbugs. I spent the whole summer in that apartment. It was a scorcher and there was no airconditioning, an inappropriate super intendant who lived next door, and walls so thin that my built-in loft bed shook everytime anyone buzzed the intercom of the building. Much to my surprise one day I woke to find out that those enormous and ugly insects could fly, slowly and like broken helicopters, and I left the very next day. 
 
Flash forwards to last night when, as I laid down to go to sleep, the buzzing in my ears returned. I get this buzzing noise in my ears sometimes that I think is due to sinus congestion from pollen allergies. The pollen is so omnipresent at this time of year in Lucca that you can see white fluffy balls floating past you in the breeze the second that you leave the house. I tossed and turned all night. F clicked and snored. I got up every single hour with the idea that I was sleeping in some kind of a hive. Finally I woke up to find that, in additon to the weird background noise buzzing in my ears from the congestion, there was also a mosquito. My left hand is covered with red itchy spots. It almost makes me miss winter.

It's useless for you to nominate me; I'm not going to run.


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