Friday, January 31, 2014

Investigations
 
After being investigated by INPS, the largest welfare and social security institution in Italy, I had a tremendous break out all over my face. I wasn't being investigated, of course. It was the fancy gym that was in the spotlight of shame. Seems that they will have some fines to pay because professionals like me are supposed to get some kind of benefits and the INPS is supposed to get paid in some way, as well. You can imagine how my heart bleeds. My investigator lady and I hit it off right away. I got a little too chatty at one point and F started jabbing me gently under the table with his knee. I made a weird face and the lady asked me what was wrong. I recovered by saying that in America we do things really differently and how much I admired her capacity to wrap her brain around such complicated procedures. At the end, I think I just barely missed out on an invitation to dinner, but with F kneeing me and all, I really had to go.



In any case, the lead up to the event was stressful and I brokeout. Lord knows how much money I've spent on acne and it is still never satisfied. It is like a really demanding lover that just wham, bam, thank you m'aams me about twice a month. Anyway, it is annnoying. I don't want to take dangerous synthetic hormones and I don't want to have to wear makeup. The laser treatment was a bad decision as the wounds caused by it still haven't healed and only add to my woes. I have researched vitex, chasteberry, diindolymethane, licorice, and a bunch of other things that have scary side effects when you already have hormonal imbalances. Then I came across a bunch of research that links sugar to excessive androgens, which is the reason that I have hormonal acne cysts that leave scars every month in the first place. Anyway, a bunch of people out there who have also had Hashimoto syndrome have given up sugar and had great results for their energy levels and their skin so I am going to give it an 8 week trial period.

Don't worry. I'm not planning on becoming one of those shiny, happy, sugar free people that brag about it.  I'm planning on becoming a clear skinned, skinny chick who complains a lot.

I kind of knew when I had a massive panic attack that my Twizzler stash was depleted that I might have a little problem. Thanks, by the way, to my friend Karin who went to the military base Camp Darby where they have a store full of American junk food and got me some. I satisfied my cravings, but now I am going to take a long break. After eight weeks I will allow myself to have sugar once a week and re-introduce a little bit more into my diet, but not to the extent that I have it now. It's not that I eat candy/ le caramelle all day, but I do have honey in my never ending cup of tea and I eat handfuls of raisins as snacks and every night after dinner I have a couple squares of dark chocolate. I can still have a little red wine and chocolate, but the chocolate has to be over 85% cocoa. Even I feel bad for F and T that they will have to live with me for the next two months.

Not T, obviously. I think this is the lego librarian. Isn't she swell?
In other news, T got back two Latin tests last week. On one of them she got a perfect ten, which was the highest grade in the class. Not bad for a Brooklyn girl, is it? And then on the second one, which was much harder, she got a six and a half.  A lot of people failed that one and she had figured among the top six highest grades. On that same day the principal of the school arrived to hand out the report cards/ le pagelle in person. She made a comment to each student. She turned to the girl who always comes out with all tens and said, "I hope you are not too much of a loner." And it was a weird thing to say because the girl really is not a loner. Anyway, T had just one subject with a grade that was satisfactory but not fabulous and the principal told her that she should work to improve it. T wasn't too phased by it since many of her classmates did not pass this term, but we were both kind of struck when she retold the story by how different it is here than it would be back in America.

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