Saturday, December 07, 2013

Cold Days Ahead


Well, Laura whose boyfriend works as a heater repair guy told me that the secret to getting the repair people to come to your house is persistence. Call, call, call, she said. And throw in a sob story if at all possible. So after our first appointment was not kept, I called and left messages and kept calling until I reached a human called Alessandro once at night and once the next morning. In the morning he scolded me, saying that all my phone calls were keeping him from working and hence from giving heat to cold people everywhere. Grazie mille, Laura. I felt so badly about it that I asked F if he could make some cookies for when they finally showed up. The cookies didn't turn out well and had to be thrown out. F made a second batch that I packaged up.


 I waited around all day huddled up next to Melissa's electric heater. I have had to cancel classes left and right because I have a horrible cold and I can't sweat too much because we don't have a shower. F also has a horrible cold and he feels terrible about not having the heater checked earlier, even though this valve could have broken now anyway. I suspect if you do the control and they tell you all is okay and then something breaks shortly afterwards you get placed a bit higher on the waiting list, but that's about it. I was starting to feel like a real idiot as night fell, but then I got a call from Alessandro saying that he was sending an operaio in 45 minutes. We would be the last clients of the night. This young guy who likes cookies named Andrea came by and told us that the gas was not coming up due to a faulty valve that could not be replaced until the next morning and that he would call. I'm pretty sure it all hinges on whether the cookies were up to snuff.


In the meantime, F and I sound like conjoined siamese elephant twins whose trunks are all stuffed up. I have done nothing to organize the singles party. In fact, I am supposed to have Giusy who is coming up from Rome sleep over, but if the heater doesn't get fixed I will have to find her somewhere else to sleep. At last count I had three single men and two single women, but I might at the last minute get one more woman if I am lucky. If the heater doesn't get fixed todays, we are really out of luck because tomorrow is Sunday when heating repair people gather by their own working heaters and wipe us clear out of their minds with a certain ease and fatalism that comes with the job. I'm sure glad that I don't have to flirt with the single guys tonight because my nose is stuffy and drippy, I have circles under my eyes, a new breakout on my jawline, and my hair is oily. Plus I probably don't smell great. I wouldn't know. Plus my husband, who is not great about heater maintenance does really bake a mean cookie, when things are all said and done.


I imagine that if I were working at the fancy gym now, no one could be here to let the repair people in, I wouldn't get to meet T's professors at the school, and I would have to do the fancy gym holiday party circuit with all of the false chipperness and denial of cold symptoms that such an endeavor would entail. Che palle!

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