Thursday, December 05, 2013

About Last Night . . . starring our plumber
Dialogue from three months ago:
K: Stefano (our desperate housewives plumber guy) says that we should call the heater repairman every year to have it checked before winter.
F: Ah, those crooks. Last year they came and just took 100 euros off us to come "check" it out.
K: Are you sure?
F: Yeah, it's just an Italian thing. Like the television tax. Like turning off the gas everynight before we go to sleep.
K: Well, if you're sure. . .

Jump to last night:
K: It really is cold in here. I feel a draft coming in from the window.
F: I promise you, there is no draft coming in from the window.
K: My right foot is really cold and my left foot is only moderately cold. I think there is a draft.
This is when F, otherwise known as Mr. Science, gets up with his cigarette lighter (the one he uses to light our mother f-ing stove) and stands to my right side.
K: What the hell are you doing?
F: Checking for wind current. See, no draft.
K: Brrr.

Two hours later:
T: Are YOU GUYS using the WATER?
F: No. I was using it maybe 15 minutes ago.
T: This shower is freezing.
F: Okay, I'm coming.
F does not return for a good long time.
F: Our heater is not working. I think you need to call our landlord.

I called our landlord's daughter-in-law because our landlord speaks with a very swishy s that makes it impossible for me to understand him over the telephone. She was brusque.
Lanlord's daughter-in-law: What is it, K, I'm at work.
K: Um our heater is not working.
Landlord's daughter-in-law: I'll make the calls, but you have to wait until morning.

I then called our plumber, Stefano Giampaoli. He patiently talked us through a couple of things to try that didn't work. He told me about a hundred times to have the heater checked before winter comes. He's cute. I looked him up on the internet to try and find a photo for you. All I got was this:
This is another Giampaoli, but the guy in the front looks like him. They are probably related.

This is not my plumber, but his photo came up and they share the same last name. He looks warm. . . sigh.
Last night I slept in 14 layers of clothing and my nose still got numb. I woke up with my jaw clenched, but hopeful that a miracle had happened during the night. That was dumb. It is an icebox. Now I make F turn off the gas every night. Just in case. Brrrrrrrr

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