Sunday, October 27, 2013

Buon Halloween!
This is some crazy sh*t that I missed at work when I did not attend the Octoberfest dinner at the fancy gym. I love being a vegetarian, and this is why:

If I had showed up,  I would not have known about the checkered shirt dress code, although by now you would think I would figure out that you can't go wrong with really ugly beige.

Ricky, on the right, takes all of the challenge out of sarcastic blogging.
Beer and Fitness, go figure!

Instead of getting into that drama, we got invited to Melissa & Mirko's family Halloween party. The original plan was that F would go as a tree and I would go as a koala bear, but T started showing us some cool costumes on buzzfeed and I got a little obsessed with the idea of going as Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke. Come on, people! We had the height difference going in our favor and I had an outfit to go with the crazy middle part, double bun, hairdo. Drawing a goatee on F and giving him some cool sunglasses would have been easy and he already has plenty of suits. Then T started talking about calling her lawyer again and threatened us with divorce. We compromised on a more sophisticated approach which was T as pop art, me as a Picasso and F as a Frank Stella. I ended up breaking my pledge not to spend money on this party and went to the discount make up store where I somehow walked away with 40 euros worth of make up T did not want to use and that I will never use again. Perfect. After 45 minutes of makeup artistry with F and I jockeying for space in the downstairs bathroom while peering at the split screen of the computer for internet guidance, T called down from her bathroom that my inability to buy a decent white eye pencil would mean that she would be boycotting the party. F whose face was awash with grotesque paint colors in an intricate pattern did not bat an eye. He restrained my arms and told me to count to ten. We did all go to the party and T had the best costume of all. People actually moved away from us on the street as we walked through town to the party. It might have been because Halloween isn't really until next Thursday, they don't celebrate Halloween here, or because T's pixels were misperceived as being chicken pox, but still . . . In the end we were among the few bizarre adults who dressed up for the party. So that happened.

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