Monday, July 22, 2013

Well, I asked
This is going to come off snarky, but I am going to risk it. As I count down my last eight classes at the fancy gym, I have had a lot of conversations, encouraging clients to look for me in September. This one particular client named Ilaria was explaining to me that she has found the perfect formula in that she takes my class twice a week, as well as Ginetta's Step and Tone class and Ricky's Muscle Definitition class. Ginetta is s a great teacher and she is very nice to her clients even if she shows zero interest in getting to know me or, for example, looking me in the eyes. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that, based on Ilaria's description of the exercises, her class probably hasn't changed very much in nature in the last eighteen years, as it is very Jane Fonda circa 1980. Nevertheless, I am sure it is a very enjoyable hour.

Jane Fonda in the 80s, you get the picture.
 I will try to stick to the facts when I say that Ilaria told me that she then takes Ricky's class which also incorporates step aerobics and some bootcamp style weight-lifting exercises. (Ricky, as you will remember, is the instructor who choreographed the staff dance routine and thought it would be funny to put me in a headlock that could have cost me months of physical rehabilitation.) Ricky can often be seen lounging on the stage, taking a pausa, while his packed classroom of both men, women and young, adoring, girls seem to know exactly what to do and what is coming next. I guess I had a funny look on my face when Ilaria told me that Ricky hasn't really changed his class for many years. At all. Occasionally, he changes a song, she said.

("You idiot!" "How could you call me an imbecile?" "I didn't say imbecile, I said idiot." "Oh I understood imbecile." "Here's what causes a lot of trouble between the people today... When there isn't an exact understanding.")

As someone who routinely spends her day off choreographing new material for the class that I change every week, this shocked me. Ricky's class is more popular than mine - at the moment - and he has nabbed the all important 7 PM spot, which is the goal of every instructor worldwide. I had to go check this out with Nicolas, who I found in the fancy gym cafe after class.

I thought about whispering or taking Nicolas aside, but then I thought, Nah. It's just a question based on fact. I asked if it was true that Ricky never changes his class. Nicolas started to answer, but then noticed a pair of clients staring at us and escorted me out with a few brusque pushes of his massive arm. This is not the kind of thing you want to ask out loud, he said. How else would I ask it, I wondered. I told him I wasn't worried about it. He said it was not a critique that would be welcomed. I told him it wasn't a critique at all. I just wanted to perhaps never modify my class again for the next ten years, if that would help me climb the ladder at the fancy gym. Do you think that maybe the clients find comfort in never having to learn new things? It is a valid question, I added. Well, Nicolas, responded, perhaps they like to the same things or perhaps they come just to look at him. Oh, I said. Wait. And then Nicolas watched me grab the corner of the walls with both hands and pretend to knock my head against it very hard. He chuckled and strode off away from me as quickly as his muscley legs would allow him to.

Ricky and his fans

Believe me, I know that it is bad that I am really looking forward to sticking around long enough to watch his bald patch increase in circumference. But I can't help it. I just can't.

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