Saturday, June 08, 2013

Why do I always worry about all the wrong things
Or chapter eleven in which the expat worries about all the wrong things and reaches the end of her rope.
Slushie anyone?
Well, forget the girdle because there is no time to change as it is. That is 28 euro I can't get back. I tried on the white horizontal aztec print leggings yesterday, and, thankfully, I could get into the small because all the taller girls stole all of the mediums.

Last night's rehearsal, was, rehearsal-wise, the worst one yet. The outside generator is on a timer and so we had a limited time to have our music play. There were no lights at all so it was pitch black. Wait, I feel a list coming on.

1. It was pitch black.
2. The elevated stage is not over the pool, but over a sloped garden.
3. The stage is made of splintered wood with nails sticking out and we are barefoot and wearing thin leggings.
4. The heavy bricks that are supposed to keep the enormous plumbing pipes in place can only hold the taller pipes, so six pipes are free standing.
5. Every time we move, the pipes shake and sometimes fall heavily. So far it hasn't struck one of us on the head, but the odds are that it will.
6. We have to carry the pipes onto the stage up the rickety stair case.
7. There is no room to stash our change of costume or to put them on.
8. There is one step forward with the pole where you can step right off the front of the stage and crash to your death.
9. We are wearing masks with tiny eye holes and we can't see anything including the edge of the stage.
10. There are mosquitoes.

I should have opted to be in the fashion show because that is when one does not have to wear a mask and the clients clap for the instructors. Nah, cancel that. I can't wear those circus pants out of the house. It's beyond me. But I wish I had lobbied for another outfit. I have to wait for them to do the fashion show before we can start the dance. Claudia who did not do any of the rehearsals is in the fashion show, of course, wearing her boxing gloves and her elongated rib cage to maximum effect and applause. My main goal tonight is to do no harm to myself or others.

The Zumba girl scolded me for looking at the other dancers too much because they want our masks constantly facing forward, but, on the other hand, they also want us synchronized to the almost non existent music. The other girls randomly start the movements regardless of the musical gong cues without me so I keep bumping into them.

The good news is that one of my students said that a bunch of them have asked my boss to have me back next year and to give me more hours so it looks like I can keep this job which it turns out I have to have in order to have a documented income so that we can stay in the country. Which brings us back to free health care.

Remember when Winnie-the-pooh and Piglet walked around in circles and thought they were being followed? Like that.
Anyway, that is why I have to go back this afternoon in the beating sun for yet another rehearsal. Cue Eeyore  and the eye rolling.

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