Friday, May 31, 2013

The straw that broke . . .
I hate to compare myself to a camel's back, but that's how are story begins. Basically, I was pretty irritated before I got to work. Then I was minding my business when Ricky walked by me and playfully and softly kicked me from behind. He does this to everyone and it was probably only his way of actually including me, unlike everyone else, but I could not deal with being kicked on top of everything else. Also I was worried that since he accidentally hurts people all the time he could do something to my bad back that would take me out for months.

Everyone was gathered together and Ricky was standing in front of the group telling us to get back to work. I growled his name a few times and he ignored me so I did what I told F I would do if he ever touched me again. I spoke to him in English. This is where we can all have a good laugh because it turns out only Lisa, his girlfriend, speaks English and nobody else, including Ricky, seems to have had any clue what I said. On the one hand, that is a good thing. I was so mad that my first attempt came out like this, "Ricky if you ever ever touch me again, I'll . . . I'll --wait for it-- Smooth you down." That's okay, that's okay, I told myself. For all they know that is a New York expression said by the baddest, bad asses of Brooklyn. I shook it off. His look of total incomprehension gave me a new chance. I started again, "Ricky, mi hai capito? No? Allora ,se mi calci un'altra volta, I will F--K you up." No one moved. No one said anything. No one looked at me. We went back to work. I was so furious that I was shaking.

 We had spent and hour and a half not doing anything to finish this stupid dance and now La Ginetta and the Zumba girl were having at it to invent two eight counts of hip hop. I'm the only hip hop dancer there, but no one asked me. La Ginetta could have come up with this shit on her own, if she had had the music, sitting on her toilet about a month ago and I could be home with my family. That was the only thing I could think. Then I had to pretend to skip joyfully around to those two eight counts until it was over. At the end they started talking about the stupid Reebok fashion show that I can't be in because of the horribly embarrassing clothes. Sara, the Zumba girl, brought up how she did not have 120 euro to spend out of pocket on a costume like they did last year. What???!!! Then Ricky flashed a photo on his Iphone of what he thought the female instructors could wear which is the kind of lingerie I could only imagine myself in if I kept one eye closed and it was very dark and there were not five thousand people staring at me. So I stormed out cursing at the top of my voice in English. Before I left, Lisa told me that I shouldn't get mad with Ricky who is just a joker. I said only, no one touches me.

 Later I got a call from Giacomo asking me why I wasn't my usual sunny self who is such a well integrated part of the group. What crack has he been smoking? I told him that the head lock Ricky put me in yesterday caused me about 12 hours of searing pain (true story) and that I needed to be firm tonight so that it didn't happen again. He said he missed the whole exchange. He was standing less than six feet away when it happened so I guess everyone is so used to tuning out when I speak that he really did miss it. He said he understood and apologized for calling me so late at night. I ate some cookies. Rehearsals were canceled for the weekend.

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