Thursday, May 30, 2013

A font of negativity

Let's see if I can catch you up and what you missed by not going to rehearsal with me last night. For one thing, I spent a little time preparing some choreography to propose to Ricky aka Jerry Lewis because no one can stand this thing with the tubes and the fairy farting music any more. I put a transition on the end of the magic forest song that went right into Will.I.am's Bang Bang because even non-dancers can do a hip hop style Charleston. I knew I would make a fool of myself, but it was worth a chance if we could just finish the dance and get home. He said he hated the music. Gasp. But later he had me do it for my colleagues who also hated the music and had nothing nice to say. Double gasp. Plus also they hated my idea and my choreography. Instead they want us all to erupt into the harlem shake. Again. It was that or gangnam style so it is hard to say which prospect is more horrible to me. Here's a funny true story. This beloved ex-teacher named Rosanna came in and told us she wanted us to sign up to model the Reebok clothes. She was referring to the outfit that I buried somewhere with its tags still attached because it is so horrendous. I would rather walk yell obscenities, naked, on my roof than do a fashion show wearing those pants. Remember this fabulous look?





I got into a martial arts battle with Ricky because he kicked me in the ass again to get me to move, and I had promised myself that I wouldn't let all of those months of tae kwon do go to waste if he did it again. He was a little surprised when I kicked him back so they he put me in a head lock that was truly painful. That's what you get for playing with Ricky, the swim teacher said to me. Um, I wasn't playing. At one point I sweetly touched her hand to get her attention and she shook it off as though I had cooties. The other memorable moment is when they all huddled around in a circle discussing something and l wasn't even part of the circle. It's exhausting. I am getting a tougher skin than Abbie Lee Miller. Also we never get anything done. Even my boss Giacomo took a tube and started playing baseball indoors in the mirrored room with all the other instable, massive columns around us. When your boss is wasting time acting like a moron, there is really nothing you can do but wait it out. I don't think Oprah herself would know what to make of it if she got treated like this in a rehearsal. But she has Gail. Gail would show up at some point and kick some ass.

Giacomo asked me why I never get a ride with him afterwards and wait there forever until F decides to pick me up. Well, it could be because he often leaves early, leaves with his girlfriend, or because he has declined to give me a ride other times I have asked him. I just said it was because I didn't want to bother him. Tonight I may try to get a ride with him because F has a cold. Speaking of cold, it is a really cold, rainy spring here in Tuscany and everyone is furious because they have already swapped out their winter wardrobes and desperately want to be tan. I asked Pierpaolo why everybody was so grumpy last night and he started to tell me and then stopped. I shouldn't say anything he said. Every time I get close to the truth, the mystery gets drawn out. It looks like we get to do even more rehearsals over the weekend. I have no idea what the cues are when we are not in front of the mirror so my anxiety level is skyrocketing. Off to rehearsal. Arrivederci Brooklyn!

1 comment:

Laurence said...

These people are abusive imbeciles. They are excluding you because they've long since decided you are not One Of Them. There is absolutely no reason to do any extra work for them, because it will be ignored.