Thursday, May 24, 2012

Miss Understandings 2012
I'm not even going to ask if it is just me because I know it is just me. I cannot get a break lately in terms of social misunderstandings. I may give up speaking in public all together. After I write this blog post, it's all going to be pantomime and The Dream of Carlo Collodi (see last post) from now on, people.

Last night I went to the movies with Anna Maria. The only thing worse than Dark Shadows in English is probably Dark Shadows in Italian. Outside the theater was one of my regular students who had not come to my class that day. She was enjoying some kind of pastry. When she saw me she covered this huge pastry with a tiny, postage stamp sized napkin and said "oh-oh." I, as you know, could not care less if she eats a pastry. I am an exercise teacher, not the pastry police. Plus I am more golosa than anyone, if truth be known. That's why I do all this freaking exercise. To make money and so I can eat. So I said "scherzi?" which means "are you kidding?" People say scherzi a lot as a response when some one says, "oh you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble" or "thank you so so much" and you want to say, "don't worry about it, it's nothing." I fear they took it as, "Are you kidding me eating that kind of robaccia in front of me?" They all looked horrified. Then I noticed that my student was standing with an ex-student and several others. I went to kiss the first girl, but her mouth was still crammed full and she waved me off. So I said, "okay, I'll greet you first" to the ex student who clearly did not want me anywhere near her. Then I went to kiss the first girl, but her mouth was still full so I chatted about the actors in the movie while their whole group continued to glare at me and Anna Maria just shook her head. After the movie Anna Maria told me that one day I would learn how to make jokes in Italian. Ouch.

This is coming off a week where I got yelled at because I disagreed with a rule that people had to vote on letting other people into a club. I tried to say if you want to keep this group small, let's just let it be a numbers thing. Why go and make it personal?  As one of the ex-unpopular girls myself, I can't bring myself to reject anyone from any kind of group unless they go postal because the ex social worker in me is too politically correct and the ex loser (think Glee!) in me is too empathic. Anyway, no matter how I tried to explain this (in English) I couldn't get any support and drank two glasses of wine too many and my face broke out in huge lumps and my nightmares came back.

The other random thing I want to share with you is that the forecasters of Lucca, who are almost always wrong, have said that it is going to keep raining throughout the months of May and June. Many a day, the sun is shining because the rain passes quickly or the weather reports were just wrong and when you greet people they still moan. Oh thls weather, one of my former students from the Guess store complained as we both stared up into a cheery Crayola robin's egg blue sky with big puffy white clouds and a smiley face sun. Yeah, I said, it sucks. Sure it's sunny now, but, you know. . . And then I noticed she had huge stress acne lumps on her face, too, and I felt happy for the first time in three days. Sigh.

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