Thursday, December 15, 2011

Miss Understanding Things 2011
Today I figured out that only one person signed up for my intensivo at Happy Gym because as EVERYBODY knows EVERYONE works on Saturdays (except if they go to LIFE gym?) and that on Dec. 17 EVERYONE is planning to buy their Christmas presents. I then offered to cancel the class since for all I know card number 808 is not even going to make it there. You will recall that they are signing up by number because they are too ashamed to write their real names on my sign up sheet.  I did invite a lovely Australian lady I met today, but there is still time to cancel if need be. Then my boss opened her mouth and Italian came out. I swear to you that I know the words she said, but somehow the meaning got sucked into a wind tunnel of incomprehension. In the end, I think she said, well, come teach for this one woman, who she explained to me has weird bangs and is crazy, because afterwards we can practice our parts for the show at the high school. Yay just what I was hoping to do on a Saturday morning in December when EVERYONE else is buying Christmas presents.

In other news, Giuliano the florist asked me to translate his battery operated Santa on a motorcycle's song into Italian. It turned out to be "Santa Claus is coming to town." I did a bad job, but he got the gist of it. Also from my explanation of my religion --of which I was purposely vague because I was born a Jew but I am strictly a spiritual person who is afraid of organized religions that historically divide people and of late I am sort of digging Jesus in a bioenergetic kind of let's model good behavior kind of a way-- Giuliano decided that I was a baptist who has painted a large Budha in her living room. T, upon hearing this little tidbit said, and I quote, "Great job Mom, now he thinks we are heretics."

And so the upshot of this story is that I told Tony from Oregon, my first blog fan from Oregon, that I would try to get the book he told me was out of print a million years ago on Kindle. He then typed the thing for my by hand and I told him that I was sorry that I had bilingual dementia. He then told me that what I had described was the same as being illiterate in more than one language. I will now accept the crown and thorny roses. The first runner up will probably be Michelle Bachman. Just sayin'. . . .

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