Monday, December 12, 2011

I Know Nothing

I'm pretty sure Plato said something about that in the cave. But Socrates was the guy who asked all the questions, right? As I said, I know nothing.

For example, It turns out the show at the Instituto Civitali high school came about because the principal wants the kids to exercise more. None of our students, not even the little, cute ones, are performing and it is just us teachers taking each others' classes. Therefore, if I had gone ahead and done my sexy bidella routine I would have been the laughing stock of all time. But we are doing some ridiculous demonstrations of our classes for the entire high school student body so I am still not totally relaxed or anything.
I don't know these people.

Adding more incomprehension into the mix, I tried again to get Cristina, the teacher of the class before mine at Happy Gym, to encourage people to stick around for my class, but --again--she said she didn't understand a word I was saying. Later I came to find out that the head teacher Amanda has been trying to help me all along. She explained to me what the real deal with the performance was; she changed my sign up sheet so that people are identified by their code numbers instead of their names so that they are not too embarrassed to sign up; and she led me to believe that Cristina had a bit of an attention deficit disorder and doesn't understand anybody until after she's had a cigarette. Two people wanted massages from Cristina's class and so I had to start off my class with massages which was weird for the three people who came in for active exercise. All of this begs the question, if these six or seven students asked my boss to have me come teach at that hour-- what made them all change their minds?

Then at Life Gym tonight I taught a double with my supervisor Fabio whose moves do really hurt my back. But he is very generous and caring with the clients and I had fun. I am a little fearful of this talk we are supposed to have tomorrow in which he gives me feedback because I know when I am nervous I look in the mirror too much and I also know I should learn to use the microphone headset, but it is too embarrassing to speak italianglish at a high volume. It also turns out that my boss' wife Gemma never wanted to teach with me, but with Elisa who can't do it so Fabio is taking her place, and not during my intensive class, but this Saturday. And this coupling teachers together is a Christmas tradition at the gym and no one is trying to spy on me or steal my material or replace me or anything. Paranoid much?
T, age 1 year. Her first words: I demand computer privileges.

T came with me to the gym. She bounced on a giant red pilates inflatable for three hours while I taught because we went out for hot chocolate before class and then the prospect of staying alone at home without being able to use the computer was too depressing. We think we saw a cat attacking a chicken on the way to the gym but it might have just been the wind and a goat. By the time we got back home tonight she had convinced me that her computer privileges should be restored and that she should be on probation instead. If she is not the next Diane Sawyer or Anna Wintour she may very well be a pseudo Italian Judge Sotomayor.

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