Friday, November 04, 2011

Break-up Blindness

There are no photos, but you can feel free to run your fingers over this post.

If you want to know what it is like to invite many tante Italian women to a party in the four or five days beforehand, I can only tell you that it is like being broken up with repeatedly over the course of many hours. It is like the Groundhog day of all break-ups. Since this party is only for women, today was kind of like being the loosest lesbian of Lucca and having all my many lovers find out that I have been cheating on them all at the same time. It was rejection city, I tell you. But it is good to know that so many lovely females will be having very Hallmark like moments this Sunday evening from a baptism, to a golden anniversary, a niece's birthday and dinner with high school friends.  Thank goodness for my friend Giusy who told me that I don't have to worry because she will be there and in the end the right people always show up for you at the right time.

It was a good thing that Giusy showed up for me today at my Metamorfosi class in Palestra LIFE. What happened was that this shock of hair in the front of my head got loose from my pony tail while we were doing the cardio dance portion.  I tried to slick it back, but it was determined to stay up like Alfalfa's cowlick. I didn't want to fuss over my hair so I told myself that it was okay to look goofy for a song or two and just let it go. Then when we had a little break and the ladies went to get their mats I grabbed my bag and reached in for my hairspray.  I gave myself a very liberal spray down and went back to the mat. That is when the odor appeared. I realized that I smelled very much like the back of one of those NY taxi cabs where they have the little pine tree hanging from the rearview mirror. Pine forest fresh, if you will. As I located the sense memory, I became aware that my eyes were stinging and I was slowly going blind. That is when it hit me that I had sprayed my head with mosquito spray by accident.  Some of the ladies encouraged me to leave class and go to the bathroom, but, in between sit-ups, I pointed out that then the water would run down my face and I really would go blind.  And that my friends, is stuff that you cannot make up.

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