Thursday, July 14, 2011

 Stats and freaks
I read the stats of Arrivederci Bklyn this morning. To tell the truth, I'm a bit addicted to it now and sometimes I check in several times a day.  It is so nice to look and see that we are not alone on this wacky adventure to makeover our lives in a new country. It is amazing to me that I can see how many wonderful, intelligent, talented people are reading about our crazy life, what country they are from, what search engines they use, and, most interestingly, what search terms they use to find us.  Our mysterious fans in the Ukraine look up high heels every single day, but not one person will explain to me why 23 of them are studying the same post every day for a month now.  There are several internet sex sites in Russia that is using this blog to find thematic material for who knows what purpose.  (I'm actually covering my eyes and ears, singing la la la la because I don't want to know.) But whoever it is, loves the idea of this audition and all the "fun" times they have imagined could be had there. I can't even repeat the nature of that search. Little do they know that it will just be me and a bunch of sweaty females boogeying around to Will Smith's Wild, Wild, West and Beyonce's Get Me Bodied. Oh right, I guess that could be perceived in a certain way. Well, to each his/her own. The little joke I put about my Mia Clarisonic facial cleansing brush not being a vibrator gets searched every single day, for that matter.  My bad. And today I found this search term:

I want italian girlfriend i'm in ethiopia i want her number

Ah, so that is what Google is being used for these days. . . Well, listen friends and freaky friends, as the case may be, I'm just happy for the distraction because tonight is the big audition at Club Qbo and I have no idea who will actually show up, whether my music will play on the ancient stereo, whether any one will be able to follow me, or whether they will hate it so much that I will get heckled right then and there. I got no sleep last night partly because I slept in my lumpy shellacked pony tail that I got done by my friends at Massimo Pretty Hair and partly from the stress. I invited some random people like the florist's son's girlfriend who insists on coming by the house this afternoon to discuss the invitation in person. And then Greta's mom invited a bunch of people on the internet from some site I had never heard of called: Lucca, What?  Our angelic tutor Lucia has promised to bring a handful of friends.  But I have some big competition. Tonight is the Elton John concert here in Pizza Grande and lots of people like us who can't afford the hefty ticket price plan on going on top of the walls or into my bathroom to hear the concert for free.  Knock on wood or toccate il ferro for me; I''m gonna need it.

Arrivederci Brooklyn, you mad googlers you!

No comments: