Sunday, June 19, 2011

I'm not even making this up

Today I treated this guy named Angelo for his shoulder that has been frozen since about 1984. The treatment went well and he mentioned that he does meditation and has experience with other types of energy work including dowsing which he himself practices for people he knows well. He also mentioned that there is a community in Lucca that is very interested in this kind of study and practice and they are led by these German twins. We have seen these twins around, and, before we were formally introduced to them by F's friend Fabio (husband of my police woman friend, father of T's school friend, also known in this blog as F2), we called them Tommy Hilfiger and Tommy Hilfiger because they are identical and they look like the American designer. Angelo said that he knows Fabio too and he invited me for coffee at his nearby bar later in the week. This is great because I have been thinking about how to get to know this yoga, meditation, energy community better so that I can start working more.

After Angelo left and T and F were off to the swimming pool, I decided that I would like to give my grandfather's baseball mitt to someone who would appreciate it. I have other momentos of my grandfather and photos of him in the house and the mitt doesn't hold a lot of memories for me. Since today is the antique fair I thought I would give it to one of the vendors that I know.  On the way to the part of the piazza where T usually shops for vintage purses and jewelry, I saw that -- due to my desperately bad sense of direction -- I was going to pass right by the vendors who either tried to rip us off or who we shortchanged (I never knew which) because of a misunderstanding about the cost of these gorgeous chairs that we bought last summer. I thought if I just quickened my pace I could pass them by without incident. So awkward. But who do I see sitting in one of their chairs but one of the Tommy Hilfigers. He calls me over and hugs me and kisses me and hugs me again (he is a super touchy guy, they both are) and he introduces me to this couple as this angel who helps people and is good and kind etc. The woman looks at me like I am Baskin and Robbins' thirty-third flavor, but the man seems to remember me and eyes me suspiciously.

So what do I do? I start gabbing on about my grandfather's baseball mitt and one of the Tommy Hilfigers takes me over to a man who sells vintage sport equipment who is very, very happy to have the mitt and looks at me like he won the lottery.  On the way back to the rest of the group, Tommy number one gets a phone call from Fabio and I speak to his daughter who is in shock once she realizes who I am and the sheer coincidence of it all -- and she don't know the half of it.  So I pull the chair lady who still loves me aside and I explain to her that we already know each other and how we know each other.  Her face falls and she says in Italian something along the lines of, oh you are the golden chair lady who short changed us; we have told everyone about you.  I say, I know it was a terrible misunderstanding but I just treated your friend Angelo and as fate would have it I am going to pay you today.  She says she understood even then that it was half their fault for not explaining that the price they gave was for the deposit and not for the full price they wanted, and she is very very happy and starts kissing me on both cheeks.  We go back and her partner has no idea why I walked away with her and why she keeps kissing me.

When we get back one of the twins tells me that our friend Fabio who we know as a guardia di finanza is really a guru who can make people faint by touching them and that I don't do the real deal work which he believes to be the stuff that Richard Bartlett of the Matrix does.  He says that I only use energy for giving Bioenergy treatments. but Bartlett uses consciousness and then I pointed out that consciousness is energy and he looked a little stunned at me, like maybe I'm not as clueless as he thought.

Tommy one or two, I can't tell them apart, then pulls out a yellow canvas canister with white zippers that looks like a Martha Stewart for Kmart type of a number and tells me that inside is a glass tube that has all of these codes of the universe in it.  He says if you move the canister around six times in a circle it will open up this vortex and if I stand in the center of it I will be doing something good for mother earth.  I am not a rainbows and unicorns type of chick and I practice Bioenergy only because it healed my thyroid and because I have seen with my own eyes and had empirical proof that something is happening such as changes of body temperature, tremors, pins and needles etc. But I am not one to piss off mother nature.  So the chair lady made the circles and I stepped in the center thinking to myself that when I don't feel anything I am just going to tell them sorry I just don't feel anything when out of nowhere, I tell you, a bolt of lightening hit me in the chest and I fell out of the circle three times.  Each of the times a Hilfiger clone caught me and when they had me sit down and I was surprised to find that I was crying. So that was interesting.

Then my scientific friend Gabriella walked by and I introduced her around and thought I would walk off with her because I didn't know how else to end the weird day I was having. I walked off with her and she told me that those were some pretty weird folks I was hanging out with so I elected not to tell her that they had also had me hold up a cell phone that was channeling the voice of Kryon and that they had invited me to go to hear the Archangel speak tomorrow.

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