Monday, March 14, 2011

Ti Sbagli, or little, teensy-weensy mistakes I've made in Italian

I was so overjoyed at having lost weight when I very first got here that I wanted everyone to know. It seems you can stuff yourself with the best food on earth and still shed poundage due to a lack of preservatives in the food.

Sadly, what I repeated to several folks was "Mi sono anche dimagrita da quando sono arrivata in Italia a causa della mancanza dei preservativi nel cibo. . ." Unfortunately, preservativi means condoms so what I was saying was, "I even lost weight since I arrived in Italy due to the lack of condoms in the food." Yes, I really said that. Conservativi, for those of you who want to know, means preservatives. At any rate, I've gained it all back.

The other doozy was when I tried to communicate to the man at the art store that we had a friend in common. I wanted to say that they didn't know each other by name but by face; so I said, "Non vi conoscete di nome, ma di vizzo."  In Italian this makes no sense, but means something like, "You don't know each other by name, but by your withered (face)." The poor man might have thought I said vizio which isn't much better because it means vice, but I hope he heard viso because that is the real word for face.

I'm going to out F here about how he keeps saying that he worked with the senzatette instead of the senzatetto which is sensitive work in either instance, but one means that he worked with the homeless and the other means that he worked with people who don't have tits. Take that as you will.

Other than that we make no mistakes at all. Yeah, right. If you believe that, I have a bridge or a withered condom for flat-chested people I could sell you. 

P.S. Did you know that if you look up "people looking confused" on Google you get an inordinate number of pictures of "Bella" from Twilight?

I'm here all week. Every week. Each year. Expat for life, yo.

P.P.S Neither the underwear store lady or the candy store lady showed up for dinner as invited (see March 9).  Both sent urgent SMS texts implying that their need to see their boyfriends on a Saturday night was greater than their need to have dinner with  us. I, of course, didn't know to invite their boyfriends since we are total strangers and I was going to work up to asking them personal love life questions during said canceled dinner. Note to self: Find new way to make friends. Sigh.

P.P.P.S. DId you see this story?

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